Please, Satan, Blow It Out

Dear Molly,

The pianist in the public atrium where I'm presently enjoying my lunch is playing an incredibly mournful rendition of "Candle In the Wind." And he's super into it. Like, laying hard into every note into it. With his eyes closed into it. I think he might be crying, he's so into it.

Basically, he's playing this song like it's his last.

So how do I make him stop?

Thanks,
Kate