The Code by which I live

Dear Kate,

What a stupid thing our brother did and what a great picture of him. While I am an advocate for corporal punishment and the death penalty in particular (the chest freezer in my basement can attest to that), I think, perhaps, that death might not fit the bill here. Your aim should be to drive Vincent crazy, not kill him. What I'm going to suggest will take time, resources, and, yes, even a little cunning.

Here's what to do: procure five or so cell phones with the same ring tone as Vincent's and on one evening, when he isn't home, hide them around his apartment. I'm not talking under the couch, I'm talking in the couch. This is where its going to take some time. I suggest ripping a seam in the couch, inserting a cell phone deep into the bones of the couch, and then resewing the seam of the couch up. Other suggested hides places might be in the ceiling tiles or stuffed into the middle of his pillow. If you really wanted to be clever, you could get your hands on a tiny device that played his ring tone by remote and feed it to his cat.

After all the decoys are in place, simply activate one by calling it some evening when you are hanging out at his place. (First you must steal his real phone, of course, so he doesn't know where it is) Watch as he frantically searches around for his phone as it rings and rings. If he should get close to finding one of the decoys, hang up. Wait a half an hour and repeat this activity. And. voila! Not only is this a great punishment for him, but great fun for you.

Sit back and enjoy the madness you have created.

Yours,
Draco...I mean, Molly